I have found myself in moments of reflection more often these days – catching those times of complaint and pausing more often to challenge those thoughts. It is difficult to fully articulate the root of these reflections, but here’s what came out when I tried…

When I was younger, my mind often wondered at just what my future would hold.
What I knew for certain, was what kind of person, I strived to be when I grew old.
That whichever career I chose in those years, I would not be defined by such things,
That what mattered to me, even back in grade three, was greater than money could bring.

And my teachers would stress that my grades weren’t the best, and I didn’t fit in with their class.
Until, I must say, one glorious day, when I picked up a trumpet in brass.
The teacher at hand, who led the school band, became the first person to listen,
She saw me for me, and let me be free, I am speaking of course, of Ms. Wilson.

From that moment on, I found joy in song, and let go of the pressures I felt
To only get A’s, or come in first place; have a doctorate under my belt.
(Though just to be clear, for a moment right here, that pressure did not come from home,
But from everywhere else, where such things can be felt, which made me feel kind of alone).

And that’s when I vowed (and I said it aloud), “I know just what I’ll be when I’m grown!
I will always be me, I’ll be silly and free, and I’ll learn to do things on my own.
I’ll carve out a space I can truly embrace, and find people who love me for me,
I will try all things new, and create some things too, and give room for my thoughts to be free.”

Well now that I’m here, the present is clear, and I’m taking some time to reflect,
Did I honour those words, and the meanings they serve, did I give them (and me) full respect?
If I look at my life – my beautiful wife, my kids and my friends and my kin,
I am so proud to say, to this very day, that, yes, I can feel that within.

Of all things above, I’m surrounded by love, and that’s something I feel everyday,
I’ve got space to create, and I don’t have to wait, for permission to feel this way.
But why, you might ask, did I take to the task, of writing this rhyming reflection?
I suppose that might be, well, the reason you see, I was struggling to find some direction.

I’ve been thinking a lot, of my life’s plot, and how often I tend to complain,
Of the job that I do, or the bills that are due, or the things that I’d failed to obtain.
That at some point in time, in the back of my mind, I lost sight of the goal that I set:
That we’re not here for fame or some personal gain, or to live life devoid of regret.

That choices we make, I’d say give or take, can rarely be made without doubt.
That I’ll do what I can, to be a good man, and accept that I can do without,
A fancy-pants mansion with an extra expansion to hold all my fancy-pants cars.
That complaining about, all the things I’m without, means I’m forgetting what makes who we are.

At the end of the day, when I get home and say, “Daddy’s home!” and my girls come running,
Is what matters the most, and the event I should toast; it’s the part of my life that’s most stunning.
While my day can be tough, and the work may be rough, my job’s not what I strived to be,
Being Dad to these girls, lights up my world, and that is what makes me Phil Bean.

There can be tough times, and I keep that in mind, but I’m grateful that I can say,
I’m part of a team, so when things get extreme, and I feel a particular way,
There are those by my side, whom I don’t have to hide, the rough parts and that says a lot.
So instead of complaints, I’m trying to today, to take on the reins of my thoughts.

I have a house, an incredible spouse, and a family on whom I depend.
I am a rich man – I can count on one hand, best friends who’ll be there to the end.
So as I reflect, on what I suspect, are the values bestowed on me young,
For all that I’ve got, and the things I may not, this has been a great life since day one.