I can’t remember what age I was, but I remember the time I received a goldfish for Christmas (or maybe it was a birthday).  I came downstairs to find a giant square box wrapped in paper, and I was given the direction not to open it, but to just lift it straight up.  The box had no bottom, so it lifted into the air with ease, and as it did my gaze veered upwards through the bottom of the box at the same time to see what was inside.  As I stood there, holding an empty box over my head, peering inside in disappointment, through giggled voices my family instructed me to look down again.  I suppose as an ‘X’ year old, I didn’t fully grasp things like physics or gravity, but sure enough, there on a table right in front of me was a bowl full of water with a fish swimming in circles and I. Was. Elated.  I share this story because the conversations of a pet, namely a fish, have been arising more and more frequently by my youngest daughter, and it has gotten me think a lot of, not only my “empty box experience” but also of responsibility, what that word means to a child, what that world means to a parent, and how those two definitions interact.

Something I should have been, but foolishly hadn’t mentally prepared myself for as a parent, is that responsibility also comes with a certain degree of fear, anxiety, worry, frustration and ultimately: trust.  Teaching the kids the responsibility of picking up their socks, putting away their dishes, and turning off the lights may not yield these terrifying thoughts and feelings (and I may not always lead by the greatest example), but when it comes to things like watching for traffic, not getting into stranger’s cars and anything else that requires independence is truly a terrifying concept to to embrace.  As much as I can’t wait for my kids to be more independent, it’s more challenging on my cardiovascular system than I was anticipating!

Genuine question for my own Mom and Dad – does that feeling ever go away and does it ever get easier?

That said, as Alison and I have been discussing this whole ‘fish’ situation, we’ve been observing and reflecting upon our kids this Spring vs. last and are amazed at just how much had changed in a relatively short period of time.  To be clear on this: there are still socks on every surface, just about every light in the house is on right now, and there are dishes growing things in corners that I frankly would prefer to not know about, so we have a long ways to go on that front, but when I think about how the kids at one time not so long ago couldn’t tie their own laces, there have been some drastic evolutions in their abilities.  They ride their bikes with confidence, they know how to unlock and navigate just about any device you put in front of them, and they have a pretty good bearing on directions.  All things considered, their capacity for more has increased exponentially since last year, and this has opened up our willingness (and desire) as parents to allow them to stretch even further.

Last year it was heading to the Library and back, this year it’s off to the park to play on their own for an hour.  Last year it was walking down the street to get the mail, this is year it’s biking to Gran’s by themselves.  Last year it was spending their money on candy, this year it’s saving for something they truly want.  It’s amazing how the span of a year can be the same measure of time for everyone, yet the difference in growth can be so different.  I realized just the other day how tall Nora is, that she no longer needs a car seat, and it really struck me a couple of weeks ago when we dropped in on Great Wolf Lodge and Audrey, we discovered, is now tall enough to go on all the rides.  On top of that, her desire was to tackle the scariest ride first to get it out of the way so she didn’t have to anticipate the anxiety of it all weekend long, wondering and question herself on whether or not she should, or perhaps more to the point: could do it.  She went for it of her own will and, to me, that’s just another display of taking responsibility into her own hands.  It was also pretty awesome that we could just let the kids run around and tackle the MagiQuest* all on their own, reading the adventure instructions without our help, while we sat and enjoyed conversation on the couch.  What. Is. Happening?!  Adult conversation time?!  I really don’t want to wish anything away, I love the cuddles and that they still need me more than anything, but it’s all very inspiring when I think about those things in contrast to how I’ve grown this past year.  I mean, I still spend my money on candy.

*MagiQuest –

1. a fun and creative interactive scavenger hunt that takes you on an adventure up and down three flights of stairs in search of runes, pictures and interactive characters while surrounded by hundreds of sugared-up kids running around waving wands in the air and not watching where they are going.
   • it genuinely is fun, though albeit exhausting.  There’s a level of patience one gains the moment you step into Great Wolf Lodge.  It’s a place for kids and I get to become one myself.
2. another $180 out of your pocket to purchase two magic wands, two special wand toppers and two game registration/activations, which must be played within a certain amount of time or you need to pay another $20 per wand

Responsibility can be fun daunting, challenging, inconvenient and boring; but it can also yield some truly fun results.  We need responsible spending habits now so that we can afford to go to Disney later.  We need to keep heading into work so that we can continue to afford going to escape rooms (we’re hoping soon to go to the Firefighter Rescue Mission at Escape the 6, located in Mississauga at 3600A Laird Road, which you can book conveniently though this link: click here…not that I’m trying to drop extremely subtle hints for anyone in particular, like my talented and beautiful wife, who may or may not read this…)

So with all this in mind, while we’re not ready to bring home a dog or a cat necessarily, I am certainly leaning closer and closer to filling up that fish tank and giving it a go with a fish or two.  And now that my oldest daughter, who has become quite the little reader, has read this over my shoulder, I feel we may be even closer than I’d been thinking…