There are many things in this life that I am proud to announce my affinity for.  Family, friends and loved ones, obviously.  Where I live – that being not just Elora and our home, but Canada as a whole.  I love fine dining foods and being in the kitchen.  I love Lego, Zelda, escape rooms and adventures in the outdoors.  My list goes on, and while most of the things I love I wear as a badge of honour, there are other things I find difficult to internally own up to.  I’m not speaking so much about those sentimental things; I’m referring more to the superficial, material or otherwise indulgent things in life that my pride gets in the way of.  The older I get, the less I care about the impression these admissions make on others, but it doesn’t make the pill less difficult to swallow when I judge harshly against something only to find myself coming to love it upon first use, viewing or attempt.  Yes, this are the things I hate to love.

Taco Bell

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shame eaten a T3 combo in my car in a parking lot after an Ultimate frisbee game before driving home to my family, but I know the number is embarrassingly high.   The fact that I know it as a T3 combo should be bad enough, but when I get that holy beacon of a bell in my sights, all I can think of is devouring a fries supreme and two soft tacos doused in hot sauce.  I shouldn’t like these things; I am a trained cook and love to spend my time experimenting with exotic ingredients.  Yet I can’t help it; that mixture of whatever makes up their “meat” filling is as intoxicating to me as the finest caviar, truffle, or Kobe steak.  Taco Bell and Umami shouldn’t be used in the same sentence….yet here we are.

Pop Tarts

Sticking to the topic of food – these ‘burn the roof of your mouth pastries’ are perhaps my favourite breakfast food.  I don’t eat them often, by any means, and when they are in the house I hide them out of an equal mix shame and hypocrisy; I cannot impose on my kids to eat a healthy breakfast while I sit next to them wolfing down 76 grams of sugar and countless other processed, refined and otherwise ‘non-food’ ingredients.  Despite knowing how bad they are for me, there’s no denying their appeal or hold on me, and even though I’m sure they put me on some type of shortened life-expectancy path, some things are worth it…these, and Lucky Charms, of course.

The Horror Genre

When it comes to the genre, there is no denying I’m a lone wolf in this household.  My wonderful partner in life doesn’t necessarily judge me for the content, but certainly doesn’t want to be in the room while I consume it.  I don’t know exactly what draws me into the ridiculousness of campy, b-rated, subpar slasher cinema, but I can’t resist whatever that is.  Perhaps it’s catharsis.  Perhaps it’s an admiration for the creative. Perhaps it’s merely an escape into something so ridiculous that I forget about whatever real troubles might exist.  Did I watch Terrifier 3 in theatres on my own when it came out?  Yep, sure did.  Did I go see Nosferatu in theatres on my own when it came out?  Did I purchase The Substance simply because the hype around its shocking ending was too much to ignore?  You betcha.  Have I binged The Fall of The House of Usher twice since it came out?  I can’t wait for my third viewing.   I’m all for wholesome content too, The Princess Bride is an all time favourite, I’ve watched all Princess Switch movies with my kids, and, of course, I’m pumped to watch Wicked with the family.  Still, there’s something about the lore of Krampus that I find undeniable.  I just hope that doesn’t put me on some type of list.

Air Fryer

A couple of years back we renovated our hours, knowing that it would be our ‘forever home’.  Part of that process included designing the kitchen I’ve always wanted, inclusive of professional appliances. We spent months of research, shopping, refining and saving (and saving and saving and saving…) but we eventually picked the cream of the crop for what we wanted to achieve, and I was in my element living my dream once we moved back in and I got to start playing around with a whole new suite of techniques.   In recent weeks, due to a series of circumstance, an air fryer ended up in our house.  I’ve judged these things as gimmicky, single-use appliances since the day they came out.  “I don’t need a separate appliance just to cook French fries”, I’d say.  Well, damn it.  If we don’t use this friggin’ $150 appliance more than our Bugatti-style, side by side steam oven.  I curse its convenience, speed and ease of use.  From a whole chicken, to roasted broccoli, to salmon filets or breakfast sausages, I’ve cooked just about every meal in this ‘single use appliance’ and, frankly, I’m mad at myself for it…yet loving every opportunity to test its limits and speed.

Egg McMuffins (I guess crap food is a real thing for me…)

We have six chickens in our backyard that provide us with the freshest of eggs every morning.  They are delicious, healthy and raised in a great environment with clean food and fresh water at every moment of their lives.  How long does it take to cook an egg?  Roughly 3-minutes from start of process until it is on my plate.  How long does it take to drive to McDonalds, wait in the drive through and get safely back on the road to a point where I can open up that bag, unwrap that greasy sandwich and sink my teeth into it?  Conservatively 20-minutes.  From the time to the cost to the health reasons, It’s ridiculous in every sense of that word, yet I find myself in the trap roughly every two weeks ‘treating’ myself to something I literally already have available to me at home.  I fear it’s only going to get worse now that the Golden Arches have set up shop here in Elora.  I’m going to stand strong in my denial though; I’m refusing to “collect points on the app”.

The Movie More Than the Book

As someone who loves wiring and has published works, I recognize how blasphemous this must sound, but I generally would prefer to watch the thing than read the thing.  It’s not that I don’t appreciate written word – clear I do – but I think it comes down to how I use my time.  A movie might take 2-hours, where a book will take me much longer.  During that difference in time I imagine how productive I could be doing other things; I will can always find a project around here.

We all have our guilty pleasures, so I know I’m not alone and I genuinely do not feel ashamed, though I am still no less surprised at myself when I encounter these things.  I am also pretty confident that I’m not done discovering new guilty pleasures in this life.  While I refuse to get a garlic press, a mango peeler, or a set of pizza scissors, I am sure there will be some future kitchen invention that wins me over.  There will be a new TV show or cinematic storyline that pulls me in, and sure there will be more breakfast confections to call my name.  Whatever the next thing is, I’m going to keep enjoying life.