One year, almost to the day, it has been since we last checked in on The Beandricks’. In particular on how Father has or perhaps has not grown at the tutelage of his two, now 8 and 9 year old daughters and forever youthful spouse. The pages of the calendar continue to turn, we find ourselves in the halls of new schools, and while much else has stayed the same, one can’t help but notice how many things have still managed to change. Each member of the family has grown in ways that they could not have planned, yet are no less grateful for. Through all that, Father, of course, does not go without comment.
LESSON FIFTY ONE, IN WHICH FATHER witnesses empathy
The life of a child can be a difficult one to navigate, particularly when school comes into the picture. On top of the new surroundings and mounting pressures to learn all things new, there is of course the most challenging aspect of life that one must navigate at such a young age – peer to peer relationships. It is a time in life when one is thrown into a mix of opinions, views, values, perspectives and ideas that may not be so familiar. It can be scary, and Father knows this, concerned for his child as she came through the door with an expression of sadness on her face.
“What’s wrong my love, is everything ok?”
“It was sad day, there was a lot of arguing between my friends and I got stuck in the middle of it all”
What followed was a detailing of complex playground behaviours amongst a group of friends and not quite friends, the details of which do not contain the message, and so we will skip a few pages to the point…
“Oh, I understand, my dear, I can relate to such things even in my own day and at my wise age. People can be very sensitive and may lash out or react as a result, it’s nothing you did.”
“I know that, Daddy, you’re missing the point. I’m not upset because I think I think I did something wrong, I’m upset because I understand how everyone feels and I don’t know how to help them see both sides. We are all sensitive, caring and have things that effect us in our own way, it’s what makes being a person so special.”
LESSON FIFTY TWO, IN WHICH FATHER MAKES A CHOICE
The life of an adult with responsibilities to tend to, bills to pay and a vocational duty is not always the sunshine and rainbows we may desire. There are times of stress, pressure and challenge that come with such things, and Father has felt this particular stress in the trenches of his daily grind as of late. Whether feeling drained by deadlines or feeling the fatigue of a daily commute, whatever the reason, he has been struggling with what do and how to move on. Thoughts he openly shares with his loving partner.
“Every day I search my thoughts for what I’d rather be doing. Where I’d rather be spending my day, and what it is that could fill my cup. I search and I search, yet despite my efforts these past several months, I’ve come up with nothing better than my current situation. I just don’t know what to do.”
“Oh my sweet, brave, undeniable specimen of a husband. I think where you find yourself is at the tipping point of decision. Being the wise young sage that you are, I am sure you can determine which way to lean. You can choose to focus your energy, as it has been, on ‘what else’ there is, ‘what better’ there might be, and live that cycle of doubt indefinitely. Lean the other way, however, and allow your energy to accept that perhaps ‘nothing better’ is a sign that what you have is, at least in some small ways, exactly what you want.”
LESSON FIFTY THREE, IN WHICH FATHER ASCENDS
It is a common past time in the house of Beandricks to take to a nearby locale wherein patrons may adorn equipment which allows them to climb to great heights without fear for safety. While there is little to risk of injury, the paths on which they choose to climb vary greatly in difficulty, using a rating system that ranges, to put it simply, from 5 to 13. The higher the rating, the more challenging and precarious the various moves, holds and techniques required to reach the top. Father, who generally stays within the 10-11 range, recently found himself climbing in the company of his eldest, and face to face with a level fear…and a choice.
“Hmmm, which course should I try next?” he pondered aloud as he turned to his daughter.
“Daddy, why don’t you try that one?” she replied innocently as the pointed to a route no less than 12
“Well, my dear, that one is too challenging for me.”
“Why”
“Well, because it’s beyond me skill level.”
“How do you know? Have you tried it before?”
“No, but…”
“Are you afraid you’ll fall? Because you know you’re safe, right?”
“Yes, I suppose I am afraid, not of falling but I guess of failing.”
“But Daddy, you don’t know that you’ll fail, right? And if you do, then it means it can become a new goal. And If you don’t then you’ll know it’s actually not beyond your skill level, it’s just beyond your mindset.”
AND SO,
While the lessons may be short, the are nevertheless important, poignant and resonant. Who knows how long it will be until next check in, but for now – for this time and place – it is clear that Father is grateful for how he continues to grow.
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